This is probably a long-delayed letter to you. I should have sent it a long time ago but every time I sit down to write this letter, I will always be filled with hope that maybe things can change for the better. Or you can change for the better. But as I have learned through years of admiring idols, you have your own lives and your own minds, and just like any sentimental fool, I was just blind.
Sure, you are human just like us ordinary mortals who watch you onstage or onscreen, and religiously follow your tweets like one would watch a gold fish in a bowl. We not only learn about your work but about your life too. And that shows us that yes, you cry, you laugh, and gasp, you poop too — as some of you are just too happy to share. All that sharing and information overload make us feel like we are close to you… but we all know it’s just an illusion because stars don’t come to earth, unless they fall.
Perhaps it was the over-sharing that brought about this epiphany. Or perhaps not. Perhaps this was long coming and no longer blinded by your shining light, I have come to realize that:
– you are an empty shell. Sure, you are not a rocket scientist so I should not expect you to know mathematical equations or quote Descartes, but can you at least talk about other things other than your beauty regimen or what you had for lunch or what you gave your parents for their birthday? I don’t need you to be as deep as the ocean but please do not treat life as a high school scrapbook and expect to expound answers to questions like “what is love?” and “what is crush?”. Please read books other than the crappy script of that idol drama, as well as the news, other than the gossip about you or the entertainment page. Maybe then you will realise that the world does not revolve around you. Why do I think this? Please read below.
– you are so self-absorbed. Your tweets with photos of you preening before the camera in poses and angles that can be a fun game of “spot the difference” have lost their novelty and just show who you really are. You probably check yourself in the mirror hundreds of times during the day and when you get hold of a camera, you take photos of yourself, but naturally, even though there are other more exciting things happening around you; well, as far as you are concerned, you are the most exciting thing to happen on earth so… and you are most probably the type to Google yourself. But then you realise that the Internet is such a vicious world so anyone who says bad things about you is automatically blocked, because hey, you are the greatest and these people are just anti-fans and do not know any better.
– you are crazy. No, you don’t need to admit yourself to the hospital basement yet or see a shrink. But are you crazy thinking that you can tell fans what to do or say? They represent you, you say? What about you? Are you a good representation of your fans? Yes, there are some who go overboard but what about those who are just concerned about where your craziness is leading you? Stop all that self-entitlement that you can do whatever you want and that your fans should just blindly follow and support you. You are a role model. You get paid millions for endorsements and the work that you do, money that majority of your fans will never earn in this lifetime. Should you at least be someone inspiring, instead of disappointing? Is that too much to ask? Oh, I’m the crazy one now? You’re right. I was crazy to support someone like you in the first place.
– you always play the victim. You don’t get enough sleep. You can’t shop without being tailed by the paparazzi. You can’t frown even though you are angry or utterly sad inside. You can’t eat that delicious cake because you’d gain weight. You can’t fall in love without the entire world judging you. You have bruises and injuries from working too hard. You are so sick and so tired. But you don’t have time to rest because there’s just a lot of work to do. Oh I feel sorry for you. Really, I do. And please, stop victimizing us with these litanies.
– you are a lost soul. I will not necessarily recommend Christianity or whatever religion that may lead you to the light, but if you just got into the entertainment business to pay off your family’s debts or save them from poverty or whatever sob story that all of you love to tell, you obviously made the right choice. Looks and guts are apparently the primary requirement to be in the e-biz, not necessarily talent. But then along the way you also sell your soul and no amount of the millions you earn can ever retrieve it back. The spotlight does that even to the sanest people. However, there are those who are able to ground themselves instead of drown in fame and money. And these are people who look at their work as craft, not just as something to further boost their market value or buffer from those hungry days. They love their work, nevermind if their public does not at times. They always think of improving and outdoing themselves, and I don’t mean getting into scandals to trump their rivals out of the media spotlight. And most of all, they know how to give back to their public–through sheer hard work and dedication to their work–and somehow, they are able to get their soul back.
But what disgusts me the most is this:
– you are a liar. Sure, we all lie sometimes, who doesn’t? But it’s one thing to be lowkey and ignore the rumors, and another thing to deny them but do something to the contrary. Why can’t you just come clean? Is it that you are so stupid to think that there is a disconnect between the media and what you do on social media? Or that you simply think your audience is as stupid as you are? If you think your fans can’t handle the truth and you are doing this to protect your career, then you’re just being a self-centered coward.
Fans do not ask for a lot. A smile, a wave and good work that you and us would be proud of, that’s more than enough. We want you to be happy. A happy idol is a happy fan. But please do not also forsake your public that has supported and made you what you are now. Nothing is forever. Not even if you shine like a diamond in the sky. Because, should you lose your shine and fall down to earth to be among us ordinary mortals, these are the very people you will encounter. Remember, what you put out there comes back to you. You don’t need to know physics to understand the law of karma.
So as I finally sit down to write this letter, I am filled with hope that even if things can’t change for the better, or you can’t change for the better, I can change for the better.
With all that said, please consider this as my official resignation letter as your fan.
I quit you.
Yes of course, you are entitled to live your own life however way you see fit, but I am also entitled to my opinion. And my opinion is this: more than as an idol, you suck as a person. And that just, well, sucks.
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