[blog] ship it like FedEx

“I have something to share with you…but you have to promise me not to tell anyone. This is a super secret!”

Ooooh, who doesn’t love secrets?

Of course it’s a no-brainer to say, “yes. I promise!” while trying to sound collected and cool, when in fact, your heart is already thumping like mad and your eyes are watery with excitement. We all love “secrets” especially when it comes to our OTP.

“It seems xxx and yyy were caught dating. There’s a photo but to protect them, they won’t show it.”

“OH REALLY?! THEY WERE CAUGHT DATING?! WHEN? WHERE?”

And as an afterthought: “oh of course, we have to protect them. You know how those antis are, they will bash them, especially her. And they will bash us for spreading delulu.”

Ever heard of this story? Sounds familiar right? So familiar that it makes you wonder if you’re hearing the same story, only the characters have changed.

 

ship it like fedex

 

There are always all sorts of rumors in every ship. Where they come from, why they are spread without proof is anybody’s guess. Of course, it’s manna from heaven to any shipper to “get hold” of “confidential information” that only you and a few know. So you don’t ask further questions. No. One. Questions. Delulus. But them delulus, they’re meant to be spread.

“I promise, I won’t tell anyone.” You cross your heart and hope to die in the name of your idols.

But promises are meant to be broken and delulus are too good not to be shared. Especially to those who do not know. Yet.

“Hey,” you tell another fellow shipper, “guess what?! xxx and yyy were caught dating!”

From “seems”, it has become definitive: “were caught”. And the pictures? Who cares about photos, somebody saw them dating! It’s proof enough! There was a witness, though only god knows who this “witness” is and why Dispatch or Friday are so slow they haven’t gotten this on camera, in one frame and without the help of desperate shippers who want to see their OTP justified by making it to a “legitimate” media.

What’s important is, there was a sighting (never mind if they aren’t aliens) and never mind if the information was quickly deleted from Twitter because we all know, it’s to protect our OTP. (There is a wall that no one dares climb.)

If you’re a shipper, you’ve probably heard such rumors swirling about that they have become a familiar narrative.

  • spottted dating at a park/in a car near the agencies
  • his/her car spotted near his/her apartment (yes, coz there is no private parking in the said apartment)
  • sighted going to a hotel (coz dating at home is so passe, cliche, boring and not as exciting as being in a place where paparazzi can easily spot them coz, you know, they want to be caught; of course, it’s a different case when they’re living in the same villa coz that one is definitely a confirmation)
  • seen walking hand-in-hand near his/her apartment in broad daylight (yes, they’re not hiding anymore hallelujah); please add, walking the dogs too for some cute factor
  • spotted enjoying coffee together (let’s forget that s/he does not drink coffee)
  • was there for him/her during a difficult moment of his/her life (someone needs to hand those tissues you know)

Rumors aside, there are the “spazz-worthy” moments too.

  • wearing couple clothes/accessories (let’s close our eyes to the fact that said stuff were gifts from, um, shippers coz what’s important is, OTP wore them so it must be [fill in the blanks, you know the drill])
  • seen talking to each other backstage (yes, coz people actually talking to each other without strings attached is so rare in this day and age)
  • stealing glances at each other (coz you know, they can never hide their feelings and never can get enough staring at each other during their private time)
  • writing a song for him/her
  • mentioning each other in interviews (search for the name, you won’t find it but you have to read between the lines, you idiot, don’t you know how to read?)

I’ve seen a rumor start off as “friends” transform itself into “dating” then evolve into “engaged” and “getting married” in the last seven years. (In case you’re wondering, it remains to be that, a rumor, recycled regularly.) Some of these rumors just take a life of their own and until proven delulus? They are not rumors but facts. (And let alone if there was a strongly-worded denial that not even GTranslate could tranship coz h/she must be lying.)

I won’t argue the fact that this is what shippers do. If we can’t spazz or delulu, what are we shipping for? There’s nothing wrong with that…until you start believing in your own “secrets”.

Please tell me! I promise, I won’t tell.

And just in case the tone of the writing is lost on some people: #sarcasmhashtagforidiots.

(P.S. be careful who you share “secrets” with because in shipping, there are no permanent friends, only passing ships.)

© Orange Jasmine Purple Yam (blogging since 2001). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of the contents in this site without permission from the author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Orange Jasmine Purple Yam with appropriate link to the original content.

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4 thoughts on “[blog] ship it like FedEx

  1. I love the snark here. That’s why shippers should learn how to “delulu moderately” Too much delusions can make or break the artists in that ship as well as the shippers’ image.

    But what I cannot digest is how some shippers act as if what they know is the universal truth and spread it to their co-shippers as if they are family members of their ship. This one is a good post to make shippers realize that what we know is not even 1/8 of what is really happening. Just enjoy the delulus and keep it for a rainy day 🙂

    • “how some shippers act as if what they know is the universal truth” –> THIS.

      to some it is: delulu = truth. and those who don’t believe in their “facts” are just haters, antis and bitter fans.

      among shippers, it’s tolerable to delulu. just don’t pass your delulu as fact or the absolute truth.

  2. Heh! Fun post. 🙂

    This is one of the aspects of fandom I’ve never been able to quite grasp. I guess it’s because I don’t have any interest in the personal lives of the artists/actors I like. Who they may or may not be dating is of no importance to me. As long as it doesn’t mess with their day job I couldn’t care less. ^^

    • like I say lately — I don’t have to like who they’re dating or marrying coz I’m not the one dating or marrying them. though it would be a really nice bonus if it’s someone that is likeable LOL

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