[Note: starting a new corner with this post called…Writer’s Blog, an obvious play on writer’s block; it will be more personal thoughts though I can’t promise it won’t lead back to anything-fangirling.]
I was never one to go around carrying a chip on my shoulder, wanting to take on all the world’s problems and change things. I’ve always been practical and I went into this business because I like to write. I like telling people’s stories, looking at the world as a detached observer. I was, and still is, a social scientist at heart more than a journalist. I’ve always been partial to stories that tickle the heart more than shake the world. I reckoned, as long as even just one person reads what I write, that’s more than enough, even if it’s my mother. What’s important is being the medium of a message.
But I seldom write now (except on this blog). Instead, I go through stories every day, stories that range from the latest gadget in the market that’s tickling the public’s fancy, to the latest attack against our ideals of peace and tolerance in a world of 7 billion people. There are slow news days as mentioned in the previous post when even the most trivial makes it to the news just to fill space whether it’s white space or air space or Internet space. There are stories of desperation and some are stranger than fiction. Sure, there are the inspiring stories but just as sex sells, bad news are more attention-grabbing than good news. Such is the case that some media even have to dedicate a space for “good, inspiring stories” and call it the “good news” to balance the negativity that goes around.
Yes, it’s a negative industry that thrives on scandals ranging from the government-kind of corruption to the entertainment-variety of relationships in order to sell more copies or get more hits. The bottomline is not the truth but exposure. It’s really easy to come to the conclusion that this is a f*cked-up world. There are days that I feel all my positive energy being seeped; sometimes, it’s only morning and I feel exhausted already. It makes me wonder how a priest in the confessional box or a shrink on the therapy chair feels. But it does make me realize how insignificant our existence is vis-a-vis that of the world and the universe. There are people whose problems are just so basic, and I don’t mean having an Internet connection or WiFi, which may be a necessity to the rest of us; but problems like having nothing to eat or no access to education. And here I am complaining I do not have access to a Japanese fan club just because I live in another country. If for anything, being in this line of work does widen one’s perspective while at the same time gives the feeling of being puny. This POV makes it easier to let go of trivial things and choose one’s battles. But sometimes, I couldn’t help wondering, what’s the point of all that?
And what’s the point of this post, by the way?
I’m not sure it’s even a point but I was just musing to myself today that everyone has their own way of coping with life. My family and friends help keep me together, but I cannot exactly complain to them every single day or pass on whatever negative vibe I pick from a day’s work. So how do I get through? I fangirl.
Idols sell dreams, or so they say. But they also peddle a pill. At least the ones I know and take in large dosage every day. It’s called “happy pill” and the brand is Arashi. With them, I do not even have to explain myself, my taste in music or my distaste for drama. They may be in a business that includes dorama, but they do not add to the already-complicated world whose soap opera is called “Reality”. They crack a joke and they won’t judge me for being shallow if I laugh like it’s the funniest thing I have ever heard. They teach me a lot of things from science experiments to practical things and that it’s all right not to be perfect and stumble at times. They do not dump their personal dramas on me and instead offer themselves as an oasis that I can always run to even if there are times that I wander off. They do not have the best voice but their music has seen me through a lot of times. They may not be the best-looking but hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and what’s most important is, I believe their hearts are in the right place.
They are the rainbow in this f*cked-up world.
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