Some may think my ichiban (you say “bias” in K-pop) in Arashi is Nino. I guess because I tweet a lot about him.

But I was Jun-baited into the fandom and the diva remains to be my ichiban. But does it really matter? Who’s keeping track? It’s common for Arashi fans to say “I love them all” and actually mean it. And I do, though sometimes I may love Nino more than the others because he’s the one most entertaining at the moment.

So in celebration of Nino’s 32nd birthday, I list here 32 of his most entertaining quips/snarks and some Kazunari wisdom thrown in too. Considering the years they’ve been in the industry and the amount of snark he has been spewing, 32 won’t cover everything but still worth a try.

1. “Why accumulate stress when you can accumulate money?” – advice he got from his parents

2. “I like concerts because I’m very popular.” #youalready

3. “I’m good-looking guy.” – introducing himself to Hasegawa Jun on their former show HIMITSU NO ARASHI

4. “I’m Hollywood Stuhrr.” – introducing himself to the SPIDERMAN cast on SHIYAGARE

5. “My friend is Clint Eastwood.” – see above

Note: Watch the SPIDERMAN episode here.

6. “If it’s possible I want lots. I want to start a talent agency.” – on being asked how many children he wants [source]

7. “I came across the biggest crisis in my entire life.” – when told he was debuting as part of Arashi. [source: this is a very revealing interview that talks about his start in the industry and his thoughts about his work; towards the end when he spoke about Arashi, I honestly cried. MUST READ.]

8. “Employee No 1004.” – filling out his name in a 2009 Family Club Bulletin [source: this 100 Questions & Answers have enough snarks to fill this post I can only shake my head and facepalm; if you want to know why Nino is such a troll, read it.]

9. “I’m just someone who never had any interest in working out to begin with. I prefer muttering to myself while I’m playing video games on my own.” [source]

10. “…we only create things that we enjoy.” – on whether there’s pressure for Arashi to create things that will be accepted. [source: the part where he talks about Arashi is very interesting because it offers a look at how the group views their work vis-a-vis their fame.]

11. “I guess I won’t reject something that approaches me. But I won’t chase after something that leaves. It’s like I’m an automatic door.” [source]

12. “I’m not the type who will want to get married even if I do have a partner.” [source]

13. “Everyone’s telling me that I look awesome with this outfit…” – on his costume as Takuma in PIKANCHI LIFE IS HARD TABUN HAPPY

14. “I like the business of saving money.”

15. “If it weren’t for this song we wouldn’t be here right now.” – on their debut song A.RA.SHI. which is his fave song of the group

16. “You should let F4 become F5.” – shamelessly volunteering Arashi to Matsujun for the sequel to HANA YORI DANGO

17. “I always want to make sure all of my individual jobs are a contribution to Arashi.”  – talking on how it would have been impossible for him to do LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA without Arashi [source]

18. “My specialty is particularly nothing.” – what he wrote in Arashi’s self-introduction in 2002 [source]

19. “I want to know stuff like how many more generations of the Mario game series will be released.” – when asked what period he wants to go if he has a time machine [source]

20. “Script.” – when asked what his favorite book is [source: okay, he was like 22 here and poor boy has been working in the idol industry since he was 13 so give him a break lol]

21. “I try to take the perspective of the fans since that way, it’s more fun and interesting to mess with the members during talks on TV.” – [source]

22. “We don’t quite remember the times we were praised, but we’ve never forgotten times when we were scolded. That’s the kind of group Arashi is.” [source: this interview is also interesting because it’s where he mentioned how they negotiated to lower the price of their album, particularly Boku no Miteiru Fuukei.]

23. “We believe that the reason our fans work hard should not be so that they ‘can afford to buy Arashi stuff’.” [source: from same interview as above but I just needed to quote this as well because it reflects a lot about Nino’s personality–he loves money, yes, but not to spend it but save it–and how Arashi as a group views things from the fans’ perspective.]

24. “I’m not a producer!” – on why he doesn’t like surprises and doesn’t like giving them either thinking his girlfriend might expect him to do it every year [source]

25. “He thought it would be very impolite to call me that, and apparently worried over it for awhile.” – on Clint Eastwood calling him Kazu instead of Nino on the set of LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA, since Nino is Spanish word for little boy [source]

26. “To be male. I haven’t any particular desire to be female.” – when asked if he wants to be male or female if reborn [source]

27. “We can’t all be the responsible ones.” – on the dynamics in Arashi [source: but what makes this interview more interesting is how he answers the question on secret relationships because…he realises he’s contradicting himself lol]

28. “I truly don’t have friends… Even if I look friendly, deep down, I’m bad with people.” [source]

29. “He’s interesting, friendly; seriously awesome compared to me!” – on Matsuyama Kenichi, who he starred with in GANTZ [source]

30. “Ever since our debut, I’ve had a nasty tongue.” [source]

31. “If I don’t want to do something, I don’t want to do it.” [source]

32. “Fans paid to watch us and I don’t think we would be forgiven if we lower our standards for personal reasons.” – when he sustained an injury but still performed during the ARASHI BLAST IN HAWAII concerts to mark their 15th year

I’ve learned more about Nino while I was going through those interviews. Reading the younger Nino was funny because he really loved to troll then (and even now) but reading his in-depth interviews when he talked about his dramas or films and his thoughts on Arashi gave me a sense of someone who is quite a character: he’s laidback and stoic, but focused at work and quite stubborn too; he’s a follower yet also full with ideas. And no doubt, he’s a brat. An adorable one.

This list and this list have been huge help for me in writing this post. Thank you to those who have translated the interviews. Yappari, livejournal is really such a great resource for the fandom though my account is no longer active (I use it only for purposes like this).

And to Neen…our Hollywood Sturr, adorable brat and of course, Arashi’s good looking guy, お誕生日おめでとうございます!!! Happy birthday Kazu! You’re amazing just the way you snark are.

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