Okay, this is a #fangirl problem specific to a fandom: GD or TOP.

See, I’m in my BIGBANG”phase” now.

But first things, first. I don’t go into phases like this period, I’d fangirl this and the next, I’d fangirl that. I may like a song but I won’t go beyond that. If I do…it’s no longer a phase but a case. A fangirl case.

And so here I am watching BIGBANG’s guesting on Happy Together (and enjoying it immensely), monitoring their WL2P performances and while writing this, reading Kwon Jiyong’s biography. I may not be into their music yet–we might get there eventually, we might not, who knows–but I am so digging their group history and their personalities. You see, I have a weakness for idols who know how to poke fun at themselves. In short, crazy dorks.

Now, GD.

I’ve always had this image of him as a bad-ass idol what with the news I’ve read and fleeting photos I’ve seen with the weird popstar styling. But there was disconnect when I saw his photos from the Chanel show looking so dapper (prompting me to say that hey, GD does look good without the styling) and in their first performance of WL2P where he was wearing a fedora and an anorak. Much more when I watched their Happy Together appearance. He came across as like a slightly reserved (or detached), sometimes lost little boy (especially when he had to present his food, a stylized version of the Korean fave chocopie, which he said they used to eat sparingly during their salad days).

Then of course, there are the stories on how he started out in the industry at five years old and experiencing difficulties as an entertainer at such a young age; how he trained under SM then moved to YG, what he had to do as a trainee…BIGBANG fans all know it by heart. I’m just starting to appreciate it. Who doesn’t like such success stories anyway?

The disconnect between his popstar image and how he comes across on variety shows–granted that can still be part of a managed public persona–appeals to me though. I get confused whenever he smiles because I expect him to scowl in keeping with his bad boy image. And before this, I never thought G-Dragon is someone who can wear shorts and suspenders on a music show and get away with it.

And then there’s TOP.

Who doesn’t like Tee. Oh. Pee? I first saw him in IRIS but really appreciated him when he did the Millet campaign with Park Shinhye last year (Dear Millet, please bring back TOP with PSH; no matter how dull and fugly your clothes are, he makes them look fab; and their winter campaign was just so pretty even with the fake snow, plus, and more importantly, they also look good together; better yet, someone put them in a drama).

Okay…going back to Choi Seunghyun. He looks like a sculpture and then he speaks. Goodbye sanity. Plus the fact that he can’t dance (tell me honestly, he really can’t?!) adds all the more to his appeal. Or how he trolls fans on his IG. Oh and how he does not wear short sleeves or shorts ever, even during summer. He jumps into the pool in the WL2P MV in his pajamas with a bloody robe over it. Can I say I like the weirdness?

But more than all these physical manifestations and um, weird strange fascinating personalities, I respect the talent. GD is hailed as one of the best musicians of his generation while TOP is also a multi-hyphenated idol and even includes furniture designer in his bio. I may not dig their music just yet but I respect hard work, creativity and talent, and we all know how much it takes for anyone to make it in the cut-throat world of entertainment, especially in a crowded, over-saturated stage of K-pop.

So GD or TOP?

Must a fangirl choose?

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